


Not On My Own

by patwrites



Series: Infinity War Aftermath [2]
Category: Avengers: Infinity War - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adult Peter Parker, Fluff, Gen, Giving Birth, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Peter parker is the best godfather ever pass it on, Pregnancy, lots of angsty emotions but fluff too, teenager Peter Parker, watching someone grow up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 12:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patwrites/pseuds/patwrites
Summary: Alternate title: how Peter Parker moved on from Tony's death with the help of Pepper and Morgan Stark.





	Not On My Own

"Pepper, I got here as fast as I could," Peter huffed out, trying to catch his breath. "Did I miss anything?"

Pepper smiled softly at the teenager. "No, Peter. We're just starting. Come here," she motioned for him to enter fully in the white, sterile room, and he closed the door gently behind him. He took an unsure step closer, then another and another, until he was right by Pepper's side lain on the examination table. The doctor was on the woman's other side, readying the gel and ultrasound scanner. Peter grabbed Pepper's hand in his and took in a deep breath.

"Let's do this."

The woman applied the gel on Pepper's growing belly, then started moving the scanner around. At first, Peter couldn't see anything, just a black vastness with white blotches here and there, then an image started to take shape and the form of an underdeveloped baby appeared. Despite himself, Peter sniffled and felt tears threatening to fall.

"How is he?" Pepper asked, looking intently at the screen, unshed tears in her eyes as well.

"Well, the baby seems to be doing alright. I think it's too early on to gauge out the gender, though, so don't start preparing yet," the gynecologist smiled at both Pepper and Peter. "Here, you can clean yourself off," she handed them a piece of tissue, "and be here in 4 and a half months."

Peter helped Pepper clean the gel off then offered her a hand as she struggled to get off the examination table. She put her shirt down then they bid their goodbyes and left the room. Peter linked their arms as they walked through the hospital and into the warm, spring day.

"I'm hungry. Have you eaten anything yet, Peter?" she asked once they were outside. He shook his head. "I'm feeling Italian, how about we go to that restaurant Tony liked and grab a bite, huh?" Peter nodded then quickly averted his eyes. He looked up at the bright blue sky, cloudless and serene, and thought that Mr. Stark should have been here instead. It had been a month since they had lost him, and the pain was still very much there. It was hard getting used to referring to the man in past tense, but what hurt Peter the most was not being able to text him an incoherent string of emojis to which Mr. Stark would reply with an unimpressed selfie, or talking his ear off about his day at school and on the Decathlon Team, not going on random adventures with him or teaming up for a simple fight around the city. The man's absence was acutely felt in Peter's life. He could only imagine what it was like for Pepper.

It didn't take them long to arrive at the restaurant, small and quaint but so, so very charming. The hostess led them to their usual table with a smile and a nod then handed them their menus before taking her leave and Peter took his time looking over the meals, though he already knew what he was ordering. They sat in silence like that for a while, just flipping pages and busying themselves with their order, listening to the soft music streaming from the speakers. Peter's mind flashed back to the first time he came here, with Mr. Stark. It had been after school as a celebratory meal for his success in taking down the Vulture. He remembers he was very anxious about being late since Señora López kept him after class to discuss his latest assignment, which was a huge flop considering he had been dealing with the aftermath of facing down Toomes when he made it.

Mr. Stark hadn't been bothered by his lateness, though, simply smiling and waving off his apologies. They spent 3 hours at the restaurant, and it was the first real talk they'd had until then. That was just the start of two years of constant meetups, spontaneous trips across the world on the weekends with Mr. Stark's private jet (and the Iron Man suit one memorable time), lunches and dinners every other week, parent-teacher meetings with May and so on.

Mr. Stark had been hesitant to get involved in Peter's life more than a mentor should, but at both May and Peter's reassurances that it was more than fine, they had gotten closer. Peter had had a father figure in his life again after Ben's death for a short period.

Feeling his chest tightening and tears beginning to gather behind his eyelids, Peter took a deep breath and forced a smile on his face.

"So, how are things at SI?" he asked Pepper. She looked up from her menu with a soft smile, which turned down the second she saw his face.

"Oh, baby. This is affecting you, isn't it? We can leave if you want, Peter. You should have told me!"

"No, no, it's alright. I'm fine," Peter rushed to say.

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better, Peter. I can see you don't feel well being here so soon. I should have realized." Pepper looked sad for making Peter sad. He didn't understand.

"Aren't you...sad too?" his voice was small, afraid to offend her in any way.

"Of course I am, Peter. You have no idea. That day, after I found out...I screamed for half an hour straight then couldn't utter a word for hours.. You're actually the one who managed to make me snap out of it and come to you."

"Me? Why?"

"Because, Peter. You're younger than me, more inexperienced with life. I can be grieving but still function normally, but you let yourself be guided by your emotions, they control you. You needed my support more than I needed anyone else's. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to let yourself feel."

Peter nodded, looking down at his lap. It was nice hearing that, but it still didn't make the pain go away.

"I just miss him so much, you know?" his voice cracked on the words. He couldn't keep it in any longer and just let himself cry, sobbing hard. Pepper got up from her chair and knelt down in front of him, taking his hands in hers.

"I know, baby. I do, too. It's hard, not having him here, I know. But we'll get through this together, you and I, alright?" Peter nodded and wiped his nose with a paper towel.

"Will it ever get better?"

Pepper was tracing circles on his hand with her thumb, squeezing his fingers every now and again.

"It will. But it will take a long time for you to heal. I'll be here with you every step of the way, as will your aunt. You aren't alone, Peter."

After that things seemed to look up. He still dreamed of Mr. Stark and woke up crying, clutching his pillow to his chest and sobbing for him to come back. On rare occasions when some media outlet or random person on the streets said something bad about his mentor, Peter got so unreasonably angry he nearly jumped a guy while on patrol once. Not a day passed that the young man didn't curse Thanos and his former existence, wishing he could go back in time and fix this.

He met up with Dr. Strange a few times after the battle, and their first encounter didn't go so well. They'd had a screaming match --more like Peter screamed at him for not saving Mr. Stark while the sorcerer stood there and took it all-- which ended with Peter in tears by the end of it and Strange apologizing, repeating, "There was no other way," and holding the teen in a shaky hug with regret in his eyes. They got over that and agreed to team up sometime, but Peter hung out at the Sanctum from time to time, mainly to visit Cloak and marvel at magic like a five year old watching his first card trick.

Peter found a reliable adult figure to go to when things got too much in Stephen Strange, and he felt grateful for that but he kept his distance. It was immature, maybe, but he feared that if he got close again then the sorcerer would inevitably get ripped from him as well, just like Ben, just like Mr. Stark. It was better this way, he had convinced himself.

On the side, Peter visited Pepper as often as possible, and as her pregnancy went further along he helped her with certain tasks, running errands for her in his spare time. He was there when the doctor announced the baby was a baby girl, which kind of shocked both of them since they had been convinced it was going to be a boy. Regardless, Peter was more than excited for the little Morgan Stark to be born, and even more so when Pepper asked him to be her godfather.

When Morgan was born Peter feared he might pass out from the sheer anxiety that was coursing through his veins at seeing Pepper give birth. He held her hand through it --thank god, spidey powers, otherwise he'd have had to put his hand in a cast-- and encouraged her to breathe and push, as advised by the doctor assisting the birth. The moment he held Morgan for the first time, at Pepper's insistence, Peter could swear the wind got knocked out of his lungs and he fell in love. The girl had her mother's blue eyes and her nose, though the small brown tuft of hair on her small head and the shape of her face, as well as her mouth and ears were all Mr. Stark. He had thought seeing the baby, who would undoubtedly resemble the man, would stir up emotions again and he wouldn't bare to look at her. Once he laid his eyes on her, though, his heart swelled in his chest and a warmth like no other overtook his body.

It was like having Mr. Stark back.

A month after Morgan was born Peter finished high school. With May's blessing, he moved upstate to live with Pepper and his goddaughter in the mansion near the Avengers Compound, where he would go to college as well. He babysat most of the time, and he found he was really good with kids. Morgan was a quiet baby, all giggles and smiles when they played or ate, didn't fuss around too much and her messes were easy to clean up. Peter hadn't been this happy in months.

Once college started he had less time to spend with Morgan, but between him, Pepper, Happy and Rhodey the girl was never left alone and never lacked play partners. She was happy, as she should be, but the time came when, after a few years, she asked about her Papa. It had been while her and Peter were watching 'Finding Nemo' on TV and Morgan asked all of a sudden where her own Papa was. It had been expected, of course, but it didn't stop Peter's heart from skyrocketing to the roof.

"Well, Morgan.. before you were born your Papa died."

"He went to Heaven, Didi?"

"Yeah, he did," Peter said. "You want to know what happened?" The little girl nodded enthusiastically. And so, Peter told her the story. Of course, he downplayed it a lot and used words as simple as possible for her to understand, but Morgan knew the truth and that was what mattered.

"So Papa was a superhero?" she asked after he finished, looking contemplative.

"He was," Peter replied, his throat constricting. He hadn't felt like that at the memory of Mr. Stark in months if not years.

"Are you a superhero, too, Didi?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Are you going to go to Heaven, too?" Morgan asked with a wobbly voice. Her eyes were full of tears gathered at the corners; it didn't take long for them to spill over her chubby, small cheeks.

"Oh, no, baby," Peter told her, gathering her in his arms and rocking her this way and that on his lap. "I'm not going to leave you any time soon, okay, Morgan? And neither is your mommy. We're gonna live a long life by your side, watching you grow up to be a wonderful young woman, you'll see."

"Okay," she whispered, face tucked in the crook of his neck. Morgan didn't want to let go for the rest of the day, asking to be carried by Peter around everywhere he went. When Pepper got home from SI a few hours later and saw a giggling Morgan holding onto his right leg as he waddled around the house, she raised an eyebrow in question but Peter only mouthed a, "Later," and continued on.

Once Peter graduated from college, he took up working at SI as Pepper's assistant. It was a lot of work and hours poured over papers, schedules, speaking to business partners and investors, but he found he quite liked it. This, however, meant less time spent with Morgan, which upset him to no end. It was better than nothing, but he wished he could be there for her more often.

She started going to school, made friends and soon her Didi's absence wasn't so unbearable as before. Peter tried not to let it get to him, seeing the little girl he had helped raise grow up and stop needing him as much as before. Though he thought that he had done something right with her. He wondered if that's how Mr. Stark used to feel with him too, or May and Ben.

Years passed. Pepper eventually retired, saying the exhaustion and pressure was getting to her, and so appointed him CEO of Stark Industries. Taking the reigns of Mr. Stark's company until Morgan grew up and could decide for herself whether she wished to take her rightful place or not made Peter more emotional than he had thought. So many years and Mr. Stark could still make him want to cry.

Stephen was there to congratulate him and offer his support in the superheroing business should he ever need it what with being so busy all the time, and Peter was more than grateful for it.

Then Morgan's eighteenth birthday rolled around and he couldn't believe his eyes. That small bundle of a baby was all grown up now, on her way to becoming an even greater person than her parents. Thankfully, she had no interest in taking the Iron Man mantle --or any other superhero mantle for that matter-- but she was to leave to study abroad in a few week's time. The knowledge made Peter equal parts proud and terrified.

"And don't forget to call once a week. If you need anything I can swing by any time," Peter told Morgan for the 100th time as she got ready to board her plane.

"Yes, Didi. Stop fussing so much, you're beating Mom at mom-ing. I'll be fine," she said though she was smiling. Peter hugged her tightly and kissed her temple when he pulled away. He didn't miss the tears in his little girl's eyes as she departed.

On his way home he asked Happy to make a quick stop at the cemetery.

"Sure thing, kid," the man said, throwing him a look in the rearview mirror. Peter got out of the car, bought a bouquet of flowers from the flowershop across the cemetery and walked through the graves on that hot, summer's day. A few minutes later he was looking down at his mentor's name engraved in stone, knelt down beside it and cleaned it of dust with a hand before laying down the flowers.

"Hello, Mr. Stark. Long time no see," he looked around at the willow tree to his right, and at a couple a few graves down. "So Morgan left for college today. I thought you'd like to know that. She's just like you, you know? Sometimes it drives me up the wall, but I guess now I know what you felt like, huh?"

He stroked Mr. Stark's picture, removing the dust. He sighed, wiped his eyes and smiled at the clear, blue sky.

"I wish you knew her. I wish you were here. You know I asked Stephen for a spell to turn back time, all those years ago? I wanted to bring you back," he chuckled bitterly. "I'd still do it in a heartbeat if I had the chance. I guess I'm still that silly kid from Queens."

His phone rang with a text from Pepper:

**Pep:** **Chinese tonight?**

**Me: Sure.**

**Pep: Get your ass here then.**

He smiled and pocketed his phone again. "Your wife demands my presence. I'll see you around. Say hi to Ben for me."

Peter got to his feet, touched the grave one last time with a lingering look in his eyes, then turned around and left. Happy was waiting for him in the car, and he drove off as soon as he got in.

"All good, kid?"

Peter looked at him, their eyes meeting in the mirror and smiled. "Never better, Happy."


End file.
